whereas, she wrote a poem about him by Amanda Condon

whereas, she wrote a poem about him by Amanda Condon

Read by Conner Arnold

she who was soft like a poet because she was a poet
but this is how you see me – as circular as a sentence, as neverending,
as a walking contradiction, and perhaps i should use italics for emphasis
language has transformed me into someone different, and while i shouldn’t overstep,
while i need to refrain from drawing complex patterns in this empty space between us
(and it seems like there is so much empty space right now)

instead of conquering my fears, i welcome the poem open armed and seduce it
into being.
i plant flowered borders around my life, and write around the boundaries so the words do
not feel as caged in as i do. my thoughts are continually pen-marked and you say
“this is why i don’t read poetry”
except i am the poetry which you must read in order to understand

if you will not read the words of my body then i apologize, i recognize how hard
this commitment to the way the words curve
along
my
hips

is – as if both of my wings
have slipped out of place, as if the dry dermis of my skin is painful to the touch
perhaps i should have given you a disclaimer when you “claimed” this body of mine
but i will not be a willful bystander as you participate in this gratuitous slaughter
of the person that i desire most to be. i must leap. i must enter a new chapter
because i so want the light – for i do delight in luminosity
i am righting the page, writing the page, righting the wrong of who i have become

at 5:06 AM