By: Alma Villanueva
It’s the way I can’t seem to get enough from you,
In the mornings when the sky is streaming slowly through the drapes,
And I know I need to leave soon.
It’s the extra 5 minutes I spend watching you sleep.
The murmurs of protest that escape your lips and your leg that drapes over me
Trying to keep me from leaving the warmth we’ve created.
It’s the way your hands always find me in your sleep,
Gripping, petting, caressing me.
It’s the way every morning starts with you that lets me know,
It’s going to hurt when this ends.
Baby I can’t leave you if I wanted to.
Because, really if I could, I would.
I’d run away from something that’s so heavy, that’s so real.
To the familiar ache of emptiness
Because I don’t know what to do with this feeling of Fullness that’s drowning me.
I’m afraid of what will happen when it’s no longer there..
I used to welcome change because it assured me that my reality would never stay the same.
Now I’m paralyzed that change will take it all away.
I feel reckless
I’m being reckless
I love you.
They stole any happiness I could give you
We only drown in water when we don’t get out of it.
I drowned in Almost.
He’s made a warzone of my mind.
His name an unspoken melody that used to ache my soul
I realize, I’m losing myself.
I didn’t look for love, I looked for you.
When did they begin to mean the same thing?
He left me empty.
He haunts me the same way a memory does.
I can still trace the map he made on my body with his fingertips.
The feeling of fingers running through my hair,
Hands down my neck, shoulders,
Up my thighs,
Searching.
He never told me what you were looking for,
But whatever it was,
He must not have found it.
But you did.
Thank you, my love.
